Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year resolutions are a way of making yourself guilt-free for all the crappy things you did, you wished you had never done. And then you never live up to those resolutions, karma you see! It is going to come around no matter what.

But what if you never had to feel guilty of what you did?

Yes! It is finally possible! Here are 6 New Year resolutions you can actually fulfill to perfection!

I will put on 5 kilos!

The food in Dubai is highly nutritious. No matter what you eat, you are going to gain weight! Be realistic, accept your gluttonous side. You are a shameless beast; you will ravish your food. Be proud! Rawwr!

I will get a C!

If you keep scoring A+’s, what about your classmates? Take one for the team, get a C! I know it is difficult to keep that Einstein in you on a leash. So a C+ wouldn't hurt. But don’t push it!

I will not save money!

You know how recession is getting everyone fired. The best way to beat recession? Spend! The more you spend, the more the economy strengthens. So the next time you lust for those shiny red heels, remember! You are saving someone’s job. It could be your own dad, uncle or that whiny kid you call your boyfriend.

I will be in debt!

You know why being in debt is a good thing? You always have people keeping in touch with you. Isn't that what everybody wants? A happening social circle? Increase your debts ten times and you are going to be the talk of the town!

I will be a mess!

Show the world how awesome you are by being organized in a messy way. That warehouse you call a room, you know exactly where things are. Be it that stinky sock or that week-long pending assignment! No ‘organized’ bloke can match your skill-set.

I will not help anyone!

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”

How about you don’t interfere in his life at all? How about letting him have his heroic moment when he takes the effort to go fishing by himself? Step back, relax and don’t give a rat’s ass…for their own good.

So here's wishing you a happy and ‘content’ New Year, hope it's everything you want it to be.

Write to us, tell us what are your new resolutions for 2013.

By Leo Luca

As we all love a little mystery, this post was written by a student from Manipal University, Dubai who goes under the pseudonym of 'Leo Luca'. 

Our mystery blog writer who shares his wise-cracking columns every Monday and describes himself as a tall, fair and mirror cracking material who advises the lost and damned (a.k.a. teens) on various personality related issues like building confidence, developing a cool attitude and transforming low-butt jeans to low-waist jeans.

Leo Luca avatar designed by Neha Kalvani.

Read more of Leo Luca:

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